Tuesday 20 November 2012

2. 20 November 2012 - Waiting for a start date

The letter with my treatment start date still hadn't arrived, so today I called the hospital. It's been nearly four weeks since I saw the consultant, who told me 4-6 weeks. The woman who does the Hepatology appointments is on holiday until 4 December, so I got shirty with the woman on the general appointments number when she couldn't help me. Not proud of myself. I left a message on the Hepatology appointments answerphone, but don't expect to hear anything.

Most other things have been going well though.

I've bought a spare bed, splashing out on an extra comfy mattress, so that I don't have to worry about keeping A awake if I can't sleep. And we managed not to have a huge argument when the mattress would only fit in the car over the top of his seat, so he'd have had to crouch all the way home, and after he'd struggled to squash it all in I then decided I didn't want to drive like that and we took it back; which I am very grateful to A for.

A's said he wants to look after me on the treatment. We had a big row last week, partly because I'm thinking differently because of the treatment. I now judge things by whether I'll be able to cope with iton the treatment, rather than whether I can cope now, so when he started smoking again I insisted he go outside in the rain and cold. Before, we both used to smoke in the living room.  Last time I did the treatment was similar, I became more selfish, the treatment came first. It's so good to know he's been thinking about it and is preparing mentally.

I have been enjoying the fasting; not the being hungry, but the amount of energy I have. And how good food tastes on the up days! I have also lost 4 pounds, as an added bonus.

Bikram yoga is completely exhausting, but makes me feel enormously clean and refreshed and generally virtuous... after: the very long walk home, dragging myself up the hill gasping for water, and desperately preparing some dinner before I collapse.

There has been plenty of other splashing out, on a yoga towel and yoga shorts, moisturising lotion, whatever is treatment related I buy. I'm spending my savings for a deposit for a house.

I have a daydream in which I get to my week 4 blood tests and they say... "but you didn't have any virus present when you started the treatment!", because I've cleared it by being so good.

Re- a potential treatment timetable: I've written some thoughts down, but until I see the nurse I don't know how useful they will be. I'm thinking about making a star chart to keep track of my medicine doses. Why not gold stars, if I'm going to use stickers to mark doses taken? I guess a lot of people do? Not the stars bit, but a chart with stickers.

The only area where I've really not made any progress is at work, in getting things ready so I can be less efficient later in the year and still get everything done. That's another reason I want a start date, to have a focus and a deadline and a kick up the arse.

Ooh - and I got my a Citalopram prescription. The doctor told me he wanted to see me 3 weeks into my treatment, as "the hospital will look after your liver, and we will look after your mental health", which is heartening.

Anyway - I hope all is well with you, thank you for listening, and goodnight.


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